First Day of School

The first day of a school - a success! I'm so proud of them.

Joining Wordless Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Mom, Carrie With Children, Tara's View of the World, and My SoCal Life

When Your Child Must Conform

He attended open house last week and starts school tomorrow. During the open house he was overtaken with excitement over all of the books found in his new First Grade classroom. He started pulling out books, exclaiming titles he had just read over the summer and then began sharing his excitement with his new teacher, as she was greeting other parents and students. He was so thrilled, he could hardly contain himself. His enthusiasm for life and learning is beautiful and contagious; something you can imagine will be advantageous throughout life.

Yet I can't help but wonder if it can be a little - much for one teacher with a structured classroom setting, where conformity is a necessity no matter how good the school or dynamic the teacher. I wonder if being the most enthusiastic, the most intense, and most vocal student will get him more negative reinforcement than positive. Will he have a dynamic teacher? One who can stimulate him yet, keep him in line? One who sees his heart and absolute love for learning over a possible challenge to conformity?

Can you sense my concern?

Yes, mama lion is concerned. Not for the underdog this time, which my heart has always gone out to by nature - the shy one, the needy one, the slow-to-learn one. In this case it's the overly-zealous and astute my heart goes out to - the out-going one, the self-sufficient one, the quick-to-learn one. I wonder if you have to be somewhere in the middle to be most successful in an institutional setting?

But, he loves it! I don't hear him complaining.

This is just mama lion speaking, and papa would say he'll be just fine. He will be, and the best I can do is to be in communication with his teacher and in touch with his heart to the best of my ability. I can pray and I can continue to teach character that will serve him well in life. Humility seems to be the character trait tugging on my heart this year as we prepare him for school.

So we talked yesterday about being humble and what that means.

It means to see others as better than yourself.


It means to think of others before yourself.


It means to encourage another rather than drawing attention to yourself.


It means to be courteous and respectful. 

Examples we talked about to consider:


If he is being loud in the classroom, is he drawing attention to himself?


If he is bugging a neighbor, is he drawing attention to himself?


If he knows the answer, does he need to always be the first to answer?


If he has a story to tell, is there someone next to him wanting to tell their story, too? Will he go second - will he go last?

The one example he came up with:

If my team wins, I can tell the other team they are winners, too. :)

These things are difficult for a seven-year-old child to do naturally. Children need to be taught and practice what character looks like.

So, just as the tidbit he took with him to school last year was, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," and, "Don't overcome good with evil, but overcome evil with good," this year we'll add to that the practice of humility.

Why?


Because it is a character trait of Jesus and He is our example.


Because the character of a person should outweigh the intelligence of a person.


Because conformity is inevitable in life.

And because if my son has to conform, may he be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ above all. 
***

#155-170 gifts of thanks for


the love of learning
good schools
dynamic teachers
friends who understand
difficult relationships that help me see myself better
freedom from bitterness
Christ's example
the Holy Spirit's indwelling
end of summer fun
Robby's invitation to me for a bike ride together
Evening family bike ride and walks
Drew's pleading to go camping again (next week!)
Early snuggles with Alexa
The face that says, "You make me feel special."
Madeline's first steps

working my way to One Thousand Gifts and beyond of gratitude and linking up with Multitudes on Mondays at Holy Experience, Sol Deo Gloria at Finding Heaven, and Playdates at The Wellspring

Five Minute Friday :: Older

I'm linking up with Lisa-Jo today at The Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday with the writing Prompt:

Older...


Go
I sported a summer tan and hair all pulled back, waitressing one night in my early twenties. As I approached a family of four, the littlest girl peered up and gasped, "Pocahontas!"

Oh, how easy it is for me to romanticize today the time I was mistaken for Pocahontas; today, when I look in the mirror and see a different woman. A woman who is no longer noticed by a magical character that she could actually dream or believe to be. Rather, she now is noticed for her character, for every tiny evidence of age that has molded who she is and has become.

Sometimes I struggle with the idea and reality of getting older, yet would I go back? The easy answer is, "never." Though my eyes are set a little deeper, they see deeper, too. Though, this face in not porcelain, it exudes joy. And, though this body is not as resilient, it has birthed four of  life's greatest miracles.

So, as I continue to contend with getting older, I remember this life is temporary; it's a blink of an eye. And my stakes must continue to be, not in who I used to be, but in the One who has brought me this far.

Stop

On Providing Nourishment

I'm over at Finding Heaven today, sharing on Nourishment. Close to my heart is that of providing nourishment for our children and so I hope you'll pop on over to gain a little encouragement and add your own thoughts in the comments. It begins like this:

It’s mid-morning and all four children are playing together – the kind of play you just want to leave alone because you don’t see it often enough. 

All too often I feel like I’m fighting for my time while my children are demanding it. Most mornings, I wake up before the rest of the house and take time for myself with prayer and devotion. Then, I’ll get started on one of my projects, such as, writing, photo editing, digital scrap booking, etc. yet, I haven’t given myself that distinct stopping point. I shamefully cringe at the sound of a waking child, quietly begging, "Not yet, I'm not ready!" There are times I, admittedly, attend to the basic needs of the children all the while stealing time away to continue that project throughout the day. In this case, my children are not my first priority and as a result, before too long, I have needy, whiny, nagging chaos.

To continue reading, click here. 

*I'm also sharing at Our Simple Country Life  and imperfect prose.

His Reflection

Restore us, O LORD God Almighty; make your face shine upon us, that we may be saved. Psalm 80:19

Like the moon reflects the sun's light, may we reflect God's light...

For more inspiration go to Internet Cafe Devotions for Word Filled Wednesday.

On Providing Nourishment for Our Children

It’s mid-morning and all four children are playing together – the kind of playing you just want to leave alone because you don’t see it often enough. 

All too often I'm fighting for my time while children are demanding it. Most mornings, when children are still sleeping, I wake up and give myself some nourishment with quiet time, prayer and devotion. And then I get started on a project, such as, writing, photo editing, or digital scrap booking, and I simply don’t want to stop when the first child wakes up. I will actually cringe at the sound of a waking child I shamefully admit, "Not yet, I'm not ready!" I beg quietly. Sometimes, I admittedly attend to the basic needs of the children all the while stealing time away to continue the project I am working on throughout the day. In this case, my children are not my first priority and as a result, before too long, I have needy, whiny, nagging chaos.

  

But this morning I closed everything in enough time to prepare for waking children. I was fully present to each one; we went on a morning walk around the neighborhood and home again for a snack. And then they disappeared. Now because of the age difference (7 to 1), I knew it wouldn't be too long before I needed to rescue one, yet none-the-less this just re-enforced a key to parenting I've had in my pocket and if I choose to use it, it works.

That key is labeled nourishment.

Recently, my husband gave me a day for myself. It was a nice break! When I returned, everyone was content. My husband said the kids did great – and that we would be having company over for dinner.

My attention went quickly from hello, to scoping out a messy house, to unloading bags, to dinner preparation, and then to our company – and I pushed my children off the rest of the evening.

Need I mention, they were off the wall loud, whiny, needy…you name it! My husband commented, at one point, on their behavior. I thought for a moment then concluded, "Our children are simply reflecting our parenting tonight."

When I see behavioral issues in my children, much of the time, I need to take a good look at myself and ask, “Have I attended to their needs properly?”

We don't give birth to crazy, misbehaved children. We have children who simply need our love and attention, whether it is uplifting or disciplinary, to feel nourished. When we don't give it to them, they cry out for it by acting out, nagging, whining, and arguing.

I think sometimes we forget that because we feel entitled to our adult time or simply our time.

But, here is what I have learned over the years:

When we start our day, event, whatever; when we intentionally attend to our children first, they will give us hours. We don't have to fight for our time when they feel loved and attended to. I am amazed how they will play together, color, or work contently on a project once I have taken the time for our morning routine and they have fully and presently been attended to.

Depending on the age and personality, some will need filling more often than others, but none-the-less, they need nourishment for their day just as we need nourishment for ours. And for us, it means being fully present, being in-tune, and sacrificing our time to give them our time.

Monte Swan, author of Romancing Your Child’s Heart says,

 “A child’s heart is like a garden. The soil needs to be cultivated, and the timing must be right. Fertile soil takes time to develop – to be ready to receive seed. And then, as love takes root, it must be protected and nurtured.

Too often we rush in, caught up in the busyness and complexity of life, expecting our children to follow the timetable of our particular agenda. It’s like planting seeds out of season in soil that’s untilled and not fertile. Whether we like it or not, there’s a window of opportunity for romance that’s open for a specific time – and then it closes.”

Next to our relationship with God and our spouse, our children are our first priority and we have a responsibility to their Maker to attend to them like they matter – more than our friends, our hobbies, our careers, our opportunities; they matter. 

Just as when we eat a good breakfast, we have fuel that gives us energy throughout the morning. If we skip a meal, we are depleted and cranky. In the same way we need to find ways to fill our children up. And with that fuel, they will take off, nourished and full of healthy energy, rather than depleting ours. 

Is there anything in your life causing you to steal time away from giving your child/children the proper nourishment they need? How will you be intentional about giving them nourishment now that summer is turning into fall and school is starting and schedules changing?

My hands are small; please don’t expect perfection whenever I make my bed, draw a picture, or throw a ball. My legs are short; please slow down so I can keep up with you.

My eyes have not seen the world as yours have; please let me explore safely. Don’t restrict me unnecessarily.

Housework will always be there. I’m only little for a short time-please take time to explain things to me about this wonderful world, and do so willingly.

My feelings are tender; please be sensitive to my needs. Don’t nag me all day long…treat me as you would like to be treated.

I am a special gift from God; please treasure me as God intended you to do, by holding me accountable for my actions, giving me guidelines to live by, and disciplining me in a loving manner.

I need your encouragement to grow. Please go easy on the criticism; remember you can criticize the things I do without criticizing me.

Please give me the freedom to make decisions concerning myself. Permit me to fail, so that I can learn from my mistakes. Then someday I’ll be prepared to make the kind of decisions life requires of me.

Please don’t do things over for me. Somehow that makes me feel that my efforts didn’t quite measure up to your expectations. I know it’s hard, but please don’t try to compare me with my brother or my sister.

Please don’t be afraid to leave for a weekend together. Kids need vacations from parents, just as parents need vacations from kids. Besides, it’s a great way to show us kids that your marriage is very special.

-Unknown

Five Minute Friday :: New

I'm linking up with Lisa-Jo today at The Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday with the writing Prompt:

New...

Go

You're five - FIVE! And you are starting school this year - Pre-Kindergarten, but still five days a week. You are so eloquent and mature and what happened to the toddler who pranced around in her winter attire and a diaper and only when it was too late  cried, "MAMA! I need my pants!" You don't cry for my help anymore, you help yourself. Even when you shouldn't be helping yourself, you help yourself! We've done things right and we've had a few battles, trying to navigate your will, which I'm pretty sure the books would coin as STRONG. Yet to the outside world, you are quiet and sweet and what a delight when you speak out with eloquence and confidence and with a coloration that makes your voice sound almost musical.

You just turned five and you're starting school and this is different than when Robby started on this course. You were just two and everything was still so new. Yet, this feels so new.

With each chapter, each new experience, I recall what I knew when you came fresh into this world in what only feels like yesterday: I must release you into your Heavenly Father's hands, and though I still do my work, I must daily let you go so that He may do His work in you.  Even when I struggle to trust, "throwing you out there," my ultimate prayer for you is that you be made a new creation in Him.


Stop

(Tuesday) To Be Still and Quiet

We're home after nearly four-weeks away. It's good to be home, but I can't honestly say I was ready. My husband coined our time away much better when he called it a retreat for us. That is was.

We come home to look forward to the funeral for my uncle this week. I continue to ponder, reflect and allow God to speak to my heart over this loss and what I wrote Friday for the Five Minute Friday Prompt still lingers.

So, this is what I have for this week, as I continue to be still and quiet.

"I brought you to your first ice cream parlor and introduced you to your first ice cream sundae," he reminds me in the last year or so from the bed where he lays paralyzed on one side. I remember the time he came to visit and gave a pack of gum to each of my sisters and me. The striped fruit flavored sticks kind of gum - the first time I had tried gum other than Hubba Bubba, and very possibly the first time I had ever received my own pack of gum.

That made him an ultra cool uncle.

He, with that thick New York accent, was strong and intelligent on the outside; and turns out broken and hurting on the inside. I wondered if his outside world shattered, too, just five years ago - due to a heart attack and stroke that put him in a nursing home indefinitely; that left him with nothing and no one - maybe as a channel for opportunity to look to the One he had pushed away his whole life. My heart gravitated toward him in his loneliness, as I conversed by phone monthly - my mother daily until she arranged to have him transferred to a nursing home in our home town a year and a half ago. Her brother, after all.

I visited. Not enough.

Guilt weighed in and streams poured down my face when I heard just two days ago that this would be the last time I would ever see him again. "I wasn't there enough. I didn't do enough," was my initial reaction. I thought maybe the blessings were with each person who stood by his bedside to chit chat and yes, that made a difference, but it was never enough.

In my sorrow, God seemed to gently brush the tears and caress my heart as to reassure me that it wasn't so much the blessings that came with me when I went, as it was the blessings I was to receive in going; in sacrificing a little comfort and convenience to face brokenness; to be willing to look suffering in the face and see Jesus.

Maybe my uncle's destiny was never dependent on me at all. Piecing together brokenness was never my responsibility. There was simply blessing there for me - and for my mother, step-father, sisters, brother-in-laws, nieces and nephews. Oh, I believe God uses me, but it is in his great mercy that he rarely shows me how he has or when. Couldn't that kind of vision keep me from really seeing the One truly in control?

A weight releases because time and opportunities have not run out for us to continue to be and to see blessings. I think about my uncle and am reminded not to miss a moment when God tugs on my heart and I'm convinced that when we take time out of our life to pursue that tug, to be there for another, to serve another - we are the ones blessed.

We'll never know all that God knows. We never know what goes on in the last days - moments of a dying person. But I trust my Savior that he is good and his mercies endure forever.

Sometimes it takes blindness to see like it takes death to finally live.

{This was longer than a five-minute post and adapted from the original post}

{photo source}

Got Milk?

Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. 1 Peter 2:2-3

Like a child is daily nourished by milk, may we also be daily nourished by His Word...

until the milk is not all we crave... 

and our faith is mature enough to chew the meat. 

Got milk today?

Linking up with the following:

 Word Filled Wednesday 

 Scripture and a Snapshot

Wordless Wednesday

Wordish Wednesday

On Not Overly-Busying Our Children

I love how Ann Voskamp points out in her book One Thousand Gifts the concept of, "Empty to fill." That seems to be a theme over the past few weeks.

We're going on our third week of this vacation emptied of scheduled activities and agendas - full of new adventures and relationship.

Although I know it, this time away has shown me the value of not overly-busying our children. Our children have been thriving on space to explore, time to use their imaginations, experiences to share in with one another, time to just be together and problem solve together, and time to keep a momentum in their play and relationship.

Just one of the things we have implemented on this trip, in our duration in one location, has been our own reading program with prizes to keep it exciting, using Brown Paper Packages fantastic system.

Prize Basket:
Robby went straight to the beach, this morning, to explore with the binoculars he selected.  


Included in that prize box are, "Date with mom/dad to the ice cream parlor," certificates - another special little nugget to fill our time.

Robby has cruised through all four of his Adventures in Odyssey: Imagination Station books and I have been reading Alexa the cutest little chapter book series, Natalie.

We have been going to the library for other books to read to Drew and Madeline and picked up the first two Little House on the Prairie books, which we have been reading as a family. 

"I'm Pa and you can be Ma and Madeline can be baby Carrie." Robby and Alexa negotiate before bed last night.

Robby has also informed me that he wants to make maple syrup over snow (to harden like candy) on his birthday because his birthday is in the winter like it was in the book. Suddenly, Pokeman and Bakugan isn't the only way to celebrate a birthday!

It just warms my heart to watch them re-enact a good book we just read - to play together imaginatively and to have an appreciation for the hard work it used to take to live. There is so much value to be gained in reading a good book together.

This all sounds a little like a no-brainer to me as I write it, but no. Our lives can get very choppy at home, coming and going. Yes, that is life. And it is only going to get busier as our children get older. But we can be intentional now about how much we put on their plate.

There is no better way to learn about life, love, service, and relationship; no better way to prepare one to go out into the world knowing who they are, what exactly they have to offer, and what is truly important than within the circle of time spent with family.

Created for a reason.

A gift at your fingertips.

#135-#155 of thankfulness for

the soft, silky touch of an infants cheek against mine

songs around the fire pit

sunny weekends

Observing the heart of a nearly five-year-old

watching her full of adoration for her aunt and new baby

small hands holding and kissing their infant cousin

special times with sister and brother in-law

great grandma

bubbles

zoo

leisure days

sitting with children reading through Little House in the Big Woods and other books

crab hunting on the beach

slugs
jelly fish
oysters
new friends
good conversation
legs learning to walk
hearts growing in love

working my way to One Thousand Gifts and beyond of gratitude and linking up with Multitudes on Mondays at Holy Experience, Sol Deo Gloria at Finding Heaven, and Playdates at The Wellspring