In Which I've Contemplated Hiring Sally As Supernanny! {And The Mom Heart Conference}

Back to the hum-drum of reality, I've contemplated the idea of having Sally Clarkson in my home as supernanny! Wouldn't that be great? Instruction on the field? When impatient, instruction on treating my children how I would want to be treated; when I attempt to indoctrinate, instruction on how to teach with grace and truth; when our afternoon becomes a series of orders, reminders that the goal is to cultivate relationships with my children.


I can't think of a better role-model and teacher for parenting in our day in age than Sally Clarkson. Sally has written several books including The Mission of Motherhood, The Ministry of Motherhood, Seasons of a Mother's Heart, and co-authored with her husband, Educating the Whole Hearted Child, amongst others.  Not only are these books published in English, The Mission of Motherhood is published in two Chinese languages, The Ministry of Motherhood published in Korean, Dutch, and two books in Polish, and Educating the Whole Hearted Child is published in Korean. Sally mentioned at her recent conference that a professor in Bejing gives away The Mission of Motherhood to families as one of his/her highest recommendations for books on mothering.

Sally has opened, filled, and captured four amazing hearts, as she has sought biblical principals in raising her four children. I've just returned from one of her Mom Heart Conferences in Denver, Colorado a week ago (and finally getting around to writing on it) and have been highly enlightened. I thought I'd share some highlights from her recent conference with you: (This does not cover everything, just highlights with thoughts that stood out to me)

The conference was titled: The Heartshaping Mother: How to Open, Fill, and Hold Your Child's Heart

Three main points that fell under the premise of what a "Heartshaping Mother" is was the following:
1) She shapes with relationship that opens her child's heart with grace.
2) She shapes with influence that fills her child's heart with truth.
3) She shapes with culture that holds her child's heart with love.

Heartshaping with Relationship:


Sally stressed the importance of training through relationship as we model the heart of Jesus. God is a God of relationship and since he created us in his image, being a parent is being made in his image. We're supposed to be like him. We do this with grace. Grace sympathizes. Grace builds up. Grace admonishes to goodness. Grace leads to Jesus. She tells us to treat our children in the way we would desire to be treated. Training our children in gentleness and gracious manners, language, and courtesies will open our children's hearts.

Heartshaping with Influence:


Sally painted the picture that we mothers are creators/artists of civilization for our families and we can influence them through the exercise of patience and with a balance of grace and truth. We show patience throughout our children's growing years, with their childishness and with questioning and doubts, as they grow older. She stated that we should provide gentle responses power-packed with truth.

Sally posed the difference between indoctrination versus teaching our children in truth. We teach our children in truth by spending time feeding them the best literature, music, art and the truth of scripture. We want our children to be great thinkers and to think with the mind of God. Indoctrination looks at stereotypes and is fear-based; it guilt's, which closes and even destroys the heart. Truth looks at and understands the individual. In this, we teach our children not to be afraid of culture, or a part of culture, but wiser than culture. The goal being that our children will go out into the world, engaging the world not as judges, but as a light.


I was like a little girl in a candy store when I saw the selection of great literature for children at the conference. Stacks of recovered classics from the 1800's on character building and faith. I definitely went over the book budget my husband and I discussed, but I knew he would see it as an investment. We are already diving in and loving these books. 

Sally stated that Jesus is a perfect balance of grace and truth. Influencing our children with God's truth will fill our children's hearts.

Heartshaping with Culture:

In using the scripture reference "A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands, " (Proverbs 14:1) Sally posed the question: what are we, as parents, building? A condo or an estate? An estate will take more time.


Children require time to receive love. 1) They require heart time to feel they are loved. Seek opportunities for them to open up. 2) They require mind time to know they are loved. Feed their minds with truth, great literature and conversation, and teach them how to think.  3) They require soul time to believe they are loved. Create a family culture that connects children together. As Sally mentioned, in the absence of home culture, children will look to the culture.

Practicing love creates a culture of love. Love holds family culture together, gives it life, and makes it grow. Creating a culture of love will hold our children's hearts.

Sally reminded us mothers that we cannot give what we are not taking in. As parents, we need to take responsibility for our mental mind, expanding our own biblical knowledge and taking in great literature ourselves. She also reminds us that a woman alone in her ideals is a target. Therefore, join or form a small group for support, surrounding ourselves with other great thinkers, and find a prayer partner.


In a nutshell, I took away the importance of building a culture of love within our family, in which to train our children primarily through relationship and to influence them by feeding them the best of literature, scripture, music, family conversation, etc. The goal here is to reach their hearts using Christ as our example. And like the message I am currently reading in her book, The Mission of Motherhood (Ch. 5, The Discipling Mother), the most important goal of parenting is not raising smart children, socially gracious children, and financially savvy children. Those factors, Sally states, are good, yet more or less out of our control depending on their giftings. However, the goals God has called us to as parents are accomplishable. We do have control over the culture we raise our children in and we can reach our children's hearts for Christ and his purposes.

This is what the LORD says: “Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the LORD. Jeremiah 9:23, 24

What I love about everything that I went away with and constantly receive from Sally is the underlying message that there is no formula. When we seek answers in so many directions, or even reliant on one, we can get confused. We have to be willing to remove ourselves from all the noise and find our answers in the quiet of our soul. We'll find answers to our individual families and circumstances as we seek scripture for truth and by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I am so grateful for Sally's example and biblical philosophy and, it is clear to me that, more than I need Sally Clarkson in my home as supernanny (as good as that would be) be, I need Jesus. And friends, I have him!

We have everything we need to give our children the life of truth and grace right at our fingertips.

With God's Word you have all the truth you need to fill your child's life. ~Sally Clarkson

If any of you are near Texas or California, I would highly recommend attending one of Sally's upcoming conferences! Also, for another insightful perspective on the Colorado Mom Heart Conference, hop on over to my friend, Cheryl's blog!

Sharing with Finding Heaven, Graceful, Seedlings in Stone, and At The Wellspring

When Prayer Feels Inadequate

I'm praying on the Saturday morning over the weekend as I'm flipping pancakes and sounds of distant hollering and squealing travel up the stairs. Sounds of children wildly playing as they await our traditional Saturday morning breakfast - only this morning in the absence of their dad.

I'm praying for their dad, as he is a couple of miles down the road receiving the message of Eric Ludy - a message about what it takes to be a bravehearted man, a man on the front lines of our faith.

And I think about our children and pray for Robby, our seven-year-old, and I try to articulate how deep my desire is for him to grow to be that man. And in my prayer, that I cannot find adequate words for, I catch myself saying, "Lord, you have no id--e--a..."

I chuckle at my words.

"Lord, you have an idea. Not only do you have an idea, you have given me these very ideas. You are the one who has placed these desires deep within my heart. You are the one with the very plan etched out for each of my children's lives and missions. I trust you, Lord."

How easy it is for me to forget, even in my most earnest prayers, that He already has us covered far beyond any emerging desires, inspirations, or realizations...

The children come scrambling up the stairs and help put plates, forks, syrup and sausage on the table. There is chaos in the comings and goings, and I cannot know for certain how this chaos will shake out. Yet there is a peace within it. Somehow I believe there is a master plan in the comings and goings of the lives before me.

And sometimes prayer that feels completely inadequate is just what I need to acknowledge God for who he is... bigger than my words, my worries, my desires and my dreams. And sometimes it's the simplest of our prayers that just might move mountains.

Sharing with Finding Heaven, Imperfect Prose, and Grace Cafe

Just When I Want More

As soon as I get a glimmer of hope for setting some goals to pursue further this gift and passion I have for writing, it seems I'm tossed in the throws of parenting deeper than ever and I find myself, as I doggy paddle my way out of an all-consuming wave for a breath of sanity, chiding myself for even considering to pursue something more for myself. As I attempt to carve that little bit of time out, I become divided and resentful of anything or one that forces me out of my moment.

I look at those mothers who seem to be very successfully writing, toting three, four and six children around and I wonder a little enviously, "how do you do it?" 

And just as quickly as my pity-party pulls me into another tide, I get a flash of reason,

"Their journey is not your journey and your ways are not My ways."

I pray for patience. time-management. perseverance.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens... Ecclesiastes 3:1

And the thing facing me head on right now is the parenting of four impressionable, mold-able, growing human hearts. This is my first priority. And not just meeting needs, but engaging, planning, investing, and persevering.

Every gift that God has given me to use for his purpose and glory will always birth through being faithful to this here, now, moment. And may I never underestimate the eternal way He is using me in these moments with these lives He has entrusted to me.

I can't just have what I want when I want it. Because I don't truly know what is best for me. Because I don't have that grand, eternal perspective. Because, if I'm honest, I really only want instant gratification. I have to walk this road, faithful to the journey My Creator has laid out for me, trusting in His ways, not my own.

"Aw," you say, "you can do anything you put your mind to."

Yes, anything that fits into the will of my Lord. And so when everything seems to be working against me and my first priority becomes compromised, I must re-evaluate my will and surrender it to His.

So, yes, I am guilty of wanting more than I have. And yes, I am going to work out some goals as He is working out His plan in me. But like a lot of things I've learned to do in my life, I'll wait upon the Lord because I know His way and timing is perfect for me.

And I'll remember how thankful I am for everything in my life that did not happen my way, in my timing, for the trade off of the abundance beyond measure that I have today.

And I'll believe that His plans alone are to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

And just when I want more, I realize I have enough.

Sharing with Finding Heaven, Imperfect Prose and Grace Cafe

A New Year: Resolutions or Inspiration?

New Year's always brings on resolutions. Which is a good thing. Yet, maybe limiting.  When I think of what I will do this year, I tend to measure myself based on my success from the previous year. Do I subconsciously feel I have to out-do last year's resolution? Or let's face it, did I even complete last year's resolution?

So instead of making resolutions, I allow a new year to stir up inspiration...

It inspires a sense of cleaning out:

It inspires fresh starts and always bettering...

Lord-willing this month in Colorado

It inspires organization:

Our storage area where the majority of the toys are stored

so that we can have peace and organization in these areas...

We pull toys out of storage as requested or trade out and only keep a manageable amount in the bedrooms and main areas. This really does keep clean-up more manageable and toys more exciting and interesting that haven't been seen in a while.

Things still absolutely get out of hand and we forget about toys we brought out and soon we have an enormous mess, but this gives us a system to always fall back on.

It inspires trying new things:

It inspires setting goals:

Just to get back in the game

Sometimes a goal is as simple as showing up. And, although I wish I had a concrete goal for writing, the only concrete thing I have is a writers group once a month, which I plan to show up to and for now, that is enough.

So, although I have some clear sights ahead, more importantly for this new year is a sense of spiritually cleaning out, de-cluttering, and making room for something mysteriously new. It's the anticipation of the unknown. 

What boils within at this time of every year simply cannot be limited to a New Year's resolution because, for me, it's really all about making room for the immeasurable joys God has in store for me over this next year.

Sharing with Katherine's Corner and Grace Cafe