Thursday, November 3, 2011

In Which Grace Is Found

I jolt from my sleep to the sound of her cry. With my cheek sunken into the pillow, my thoughts will that the sound will stop. My eyelids fall shut again. It seems they just gave way to the weight of the day and the book that lies beside me. I hear it again and the rest of my body is tense and I haven't been woken like this in months. I've gotten used to calculating my days down to the hour, where I finally have time to breathe, rest and refuel.

I lie and wonder if she is just searching for that comfortable position like she does, or if something is really wrong? She didn't have a fever all day yesterday and the doctor said her ears were just fine.

I lie their stiff, waiting, not wanting to fully wake up and I think about those cuspid teeth I suspected were coming in earlier. I relax a little. I hear it again and throw back the blankets. I know it is not the "I-need-my-blankie" kind of cry. I creep into her room and adjust the light to see her sitting up, hand over her ear again, or is it her cheek?

I  gently pick her up, reach for the Tylenol and sit with her after I give her a dose. She straddles my waist with her head pressed against my chest. I had forgotten how wonderful the weight of her felt. Within minutes I hear her breathing heavy again and I think about lying her back down. But the weight of her pressed against me holds me back and I decide to just hold her.

I close my eyes. Arms wrapping her frame, I feel her weight and I'm thankful for the disturbance of my rest and for the weight of the day that I traded for the weight of her, and I remember that this is where grace is found...always in the in-calculated moments.


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11 comments:

  1. yes! I know this feeling, the reward of finally getting up to do something you thought you didn't want to do, only to find a sweet little person waiting for you. Lovely!

    Stopping by from Imperfect Prose, nice to meet you ;)

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  2. Aw my little had fever last night so I completely identify with holding them and having a sweet cheek pressed against your heart. I love how describe that! God truly did bless us with the sweetie pies!:)

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  3. I love moments when grace is poured out and received and chosen. It seems at the edge of the day is where sweet moments like that live, where everything has slowed and we can respond.

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  4. Beautiful moments to cherish forever!

    Stopping by from A City on a Hill.
    http://a-city-on-a-hill.blogspot.com/

    Blessings!
    Sharon

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  5. Embrace all those moments that fly by faster than you suspect.

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  6. I wish I had some of those moments back to cherish more than I did! I'm going to go hug my sick 17 year old now!

    Stopping by from LiveLaughLove
    http://livelaughlove-brandi.blogspot.com/

    God Bless,
    Brandi

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  7. Beautiful.. I love your line, "for the weight of my day that I traded for the weight of her." I'm just going to savor that thought all day. And all night, since my "little one" still hasn't figured out how to sleep when its dark outside :)

    Thanks for putting words to grace today.

    Stopping by from The Overflow@www.aliciabruxvoort.net

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  8. This is beautiful - a moment to be cherished.

    Blessings,
    Joan

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  9. oh, sweet friend, how this makes me grateful for my three-month-old and his needing cuddles right now. thank you. a beautiful, tender write.

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  10. Sorry she wasn't well, but oh, the precious moments. How special. I'm a new follower of yours on GFC. Would love if you'd follow me too. Blessings, Nona@gr8day2save.com

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