On this day designated to celebrate mothers, I offer you what you behold as holy and allow you to continue to mold me in the area of the greatest challenge, deepest joy and highest calling I may ever know. Through it all...
Through days that I feel I have faltered once again in the, "having it all together," department, juggling not just the responsibility of keeping house, but the joy in it; for creating a sacred harmonious space for our family to live.
Through juggling that with loving and disciplining these children and not just managing it all, but living it. Engaging. Taking time for the make-believe stories the four-year-old rattles off when I feel the need to multi-task. But, no, to stop. Look her in the eye and engage in her story. Do I want to play that imaginary game? How? I wonder this when it seems so much easier to let her play while I unload the dishwasher or steal a few extra minutes to write. But, to let her teach me to play. To teach me about her thoughts and her heart. This is a gift.
Through juggling the teaching of character, faith and virtue. Have we incorporated this enough into their life?
Through juggling structure and order. Others do it so much better than me.
Through juggling the daily weight of feeling I am not enough for all this, all that you have entrusted me and Rob to and a feeling some days that I am failing miserably at the one shot I have in this lifetime.
Yet, you have entrusted these to me as the one who labored their birth and the one who labors their upbringing - that, which is not easy.
Lord, I fail every day in trying. And trying only fails me.
But, You. You, who holds all things. You make it all flow. You. The inspiration. The essence of order. The inventor of detail. Creator. You know. My daily obedience to You is the key that unlocks all that is necessary in our day. All that I need to do this one task well. It unlocks the capacity to see all that I would not ordinarily see. All that you have ordained. Nothing less. Nothing more.
My obedience unleashes the free-flowing sacred dwelling of grace. It accepts the gift in spite of my weakness. And when it flows, it pours-all over these children. For you tell me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
For the sake of these children, whom you have entrusted me, have numbered every hair on their head, and have called by name - for these,I cannot offer perfection. For these, I simply offer me.
Today I will claim, not the burden, but the joy of raising these children. One of the deepest joys I may ever know this side of heaven.
Your humble and grateful daughter,