Tuesday, June 21, 2011

When Abundance Requires Surrender {Guest-posting at Comforted By God}

Shuffling into the restaurant – about six of us near strangers scrambled to find our seats. I nonchalantly pulled back the chair and sat next to him. As I sat there awkward, I peered across the table tuning out the words of my boisterous friend, who had gotten on the topic of, “God is just an idea…” It was a topic I had learned to ignore. I wouldn’t be persuaded nor would I persuade her. I avoided those conversations that challenged the very core of what I believed up to that particular point in my life.

However, the next thing I knew, that guy sitting next to me was speaking up. I don’t recall those exact words that straightened my posture nearly twelve years ago, but I recall having no choice but to chime in. We alternated affirmations, with complimenting points, “Yeah, and…,” “Right, and…” My eyes began to widen and my heart sprang forth as I was overtaken by the proclamations of this guy. It was as though I had suddenly noticed him for the first time.

I went home that night intrigued…

Who was that guy who proclaimed so boldly a belief in the one true God?

Who was that guy who said he owned over 100 Christian CDs? Did that many Christian artists even exist?

Who was that guy who grabbed my attention and literally woke me up?

You see, I grew up knowing Jesus Christ as my Savior. I knew He was good and that He loved me. I trusted Him. I just wasn’t willing to trust Him with my whole life. I had decided I knew better than anyone what I was looking for in the love department. After all, I had imagined how I would be gallantly pursued and rescued in my childhood fairytale dreams. I wasn’t looking for a godly guy, someone who was trusting God with his whole life. I didn’t believe those kind existed. The more a guy pursued me, simply, the more likely he was to win my heart.

None-the-less, several decent men came and went in my life. I remember telling a friend that if the next guy (whom I had already scoped out as heroic) was not the one, then there would be no one for me. I believed that. I was tired of disappointment; tired of gambling in a game that was being played too casually with my heart.

Something changed that round. I had inevitably been pursued, however, not by that “next guy.” That ended, too. I remember that day well, humbled by my circumstances; when compromise would no longer camouflage my existence. Oh, how I wanted to run; crawl into a hole – but, there I was backed up against the wall of my own captivity. I knew what I had to do. I threw my arms up – finally – and surrendered. I admitted I couldn’t control this outcome. I had already compromised the belief that there was something more – someone worth waiting for. I had compromised what my heart deeply desired and was yearning for – God. I surrendered my choices and committed to allowing God to take the pen and write this story. That is the moment God gathered all of the fragmented pieces of my life and started putting them together.

One month later, I pulled back the chair and sat next to him…

“That guy” and I have been married now for nearly nine years and have four children together. He is the man that makes my heart skip a beat every time I think about how he met the deepest desire of my heart – to know God and to grow in this area with someone.
He wasn’t the one who rescued me like I had imagined in my fairytale dreams, but the One who had been pursuing me all along did rescue me from my dire predicament and gave me more in a man than my eyes could have possibly foreseen on my own. 

God used the circumstances of my relationships to draw me back to Himself and showed me that I had to make Him first in my life. This uncommon script – one of full surrender – has laid the foundation to an abundant marriage that works because God remains the heart of our passion, which is the most rewarding kind you will ever know.

Is there an area of your life that you are still holding on to? Do you realize that holding on to fragments of your life will cost you more than you ever intended? Are you willing to surrender every aspect of your life to Christ today?
{Guest-posting over at Comforted by God.}

Adapted from the archives and re-titled, "Looking For Mr. Right?" at Comforted By God.

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