Monday, June 20, 2011

When Hesitancy Doesn't Stop You

We could have backed out. Easily backed out. The hesitancy in her voice told me we really weren't doing her a favor by stopping in for a visit. 

The week the two older children would be at VBS and she just across the street, I decide to initiate a call to see if the youngest two and I can come for a short visit.

"Oh, I don't know. They don't really know me. We could try it. Maybe just for a half hour or so - you know, I haven't changed a diaper in years," she wearily debates.

Well, I promise I won't ask you to change a diaper," I reply.

"Okay, well let's just try it," she succumbs.

I originally think our visit would be for her sake. Now, I question my motive.

It could very well be determined that she would rather not have her day interrupted with visitors. Yet, I determine I need to do this, if not for her, for my children - for me. I want them to know her - the mother of the man who stumbled into the life of a women raising six daughters already reaching puberty. The mother of the man who introduced me to the mountains, camping, fishing, cribbage, and tennis.  The woman who lost her husband more than twenty years ago and has depended her very life on her Savior as long as I have known her. The woman who has not let an encounter go by without sharing Jesus.

A family function has always been the venue for when we would see her. But, those are few and far between. Simply running into her has become rare as the years have passed; paces speeding up as she is slowing down.

The three of us arrive and I push the button in the entryway so she may buzz us in through the second door of the senior citizen building. The door buzzes open and she announces she will be waiting at the elevator. We visit in front of the elevator for several minutes, she in a chair facing us, getting acquainted with Drew and Madeline. Drew shows her all of his "owies" and is captivated as she shows him hers.

"What happened? " on repeat keeps the conversation a flow.

"Here, I want to show you something," she tells Drew and invites us around the corner to the 400 square foot space where she eats and sleeps and pours into scripture.

She has a yellow ball tucked away and she directs Drew to form a triangle with Madeline and herself, then they begin rolling the ball to one another.

Thirty minutes passes quickly and it is time to walk across the street to pick up the older two from VBS.

We say good-bye. She hands me a box of cards and wonders if we'd like the Max Lacado Hermie themed birthday card set. I thank her and take the box, with a top cover so vivid it looks like it could be the top cover of a puzzle box, and I hand it to Drew, knowing he would like to see the picture.

She asks Drew and Madeline if they will come visit again.

On the way out, I remember the last VBS the oldest, Robby, attended and how she walked across the street for the last day's picnic. I know the answer, but I invite her again to the Friday afternoon picnic.

Too many people. Too far too walk. It is true. I know a lot can change in a couple of years at her age.

Drew walks out the front doors behind me, with Madeline straddling my hip, and yells back to her, "Good-bye...thanks for the puzzle!"

All are smitten.

In that moment I'm so glad we went and didn't let the hesitancy I sensed in her voice - in me - stop us. 

Two days later, I show up to the VBS picnic a little early, pushing Drew and Madeline in the "Chariot" double stroller onto the VBS grounds at the YMCA, and the first person I see standing there waving me down is her. Grandma.
#75-100 of thanks to God for

time with Grandma Anna
children and great grandmas closing generational gaps for time
pushing through doubt
seeking grace
mother/daughter date to the theater
one bedroom left empty so two can share
firsts - upright in a car seat
digging dirt
"weeds" adding color and beauty to the distance
face painting
sharing in the delight of children
a mans hands that work hard
a heart that loves deep
more grace - pouring grace
water gun fights
tennis in the rain
grandpa teaching grandchildren the game of tennis
summer BBQ's
family adding up to thirty-six at one home
oldest reading to youngest

working my way to One Thousand Gifts and beyond of gratitude and linking up with Multitudes on Mondays at Holy Experience and  Sol Deo Gloria at Finding Heaven.


  1. Sometimes it just takes showing up...

    What a wonderful blog! I'm a new follower.

    I wanted to let you know about a Meme called “Pay It Forward” @ A Life-Size Catholic Blog. If you can find time to link up with this new Meme it’s a great way to grow our blogging community. Check it out at:
    Many blessings…

  2. This is a glorious, hope-filled post. I have felt the hesitancy and all of the times that I have ignored it, when I know that it is Him who is urging me, I never cease to find delight.

  3. Theresa,
    Beautiful, beautiful. . .oh, this is the second post I've read tonight that really made me miss my grandmother and long for more time with her.

    Good job pushing through that hesitancy.

  4. Thank you so much for sharing, stopping by via finding heaven.....relationships are so precious and we have to make the effort to bridge the gap between the young and the elderly, there is so much knowledge and wisdom!...Stay blessed. Amanda

  5. Oh, I love Grandmas . . . and glad you had such a special time together.



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