Monday, February 11, 2013

On Why I'm Not Blogging


I write because I have a message. I write because I have a passion for spreading that message. I don’t write because I’m the most clever, witty, or skilled writer out there. I simply write because I’m compelled to when I see the profound disguised by the ordinary and find simplicity in the most profound, life-changing story ever told.

For the past few months, I've wondered why I write. I don’t know if I couldn’t see the profound or if the profound was just becoming too ordinary. I needed God to produce a famine in me in order to produce a hunger again.

The famine is finally passing and I am writing almost every day again. Yet, I’m not yet willing to blog.

You see, profound became ordinary because I think I began to focus too much on the ordinary things, like the mechanics of a blog and the pull toward the blog and the self-satisfaction of the blog. Without realizing it, I put my stakes in the ordinary – self-serving aspects of the blog – and lost sight of the reason I started writing in the first place.

So after a very busy couple of months and January 1st rolled around, the fore-told end of my blog break, I knew I wasn't ready. Now that I’m writing and ideas are flowing again, I’m still not ready. Because this time away from the blog has built up strength in discipline, focus, and faith – discipline in attending to my priorities, focus in a greater vision and faith that God has me exactly where He wants me.

This blog break has honestly meant putting more energy into my family - my children during the day and my husband in the evenings.

I don’t know about you, but it had been difficult for me to set aside a specific time for writing and then stick to it. I believe it can be done when disciplined and obedient to a call. But for me, as a mother, it has had the ability to become too all-consuming and creep into my days, invade my thoughts and steal time away from my relationships and real life.

I’m an artist. I write when I feel inspired. Yet, I’m a mother first and fore-most, creating art with real lives and dare I not confuse the two.

It can be all-consuming in the way of always thinking on the next idea, writing it out, joining community, and supporting community by commenting on other blogs. It all takes time.  And yes, it feels worth it if the message resonates with just one and yes, it helps in building a platform toward a greater goal. Yet, if I’m to be entrusted with a greater goal, I have to know how to handle the small stuff.

And then there is that instant gratification of publishing a post that will receive almost immediate feedback. And there’s no harm in that either – unless you’re settling for the instant gratification over blood, sweat and tears, humility, and a greater purpose and reward.

I don’t know that there is a formula for us writers. I just know that if I’m drawn to writing as an idol in my life, I've missed the boat and it will come at too great a cost.

This is why I’m not blogging.

But, I’ll be back.

I am writing in a committed time-slot daily now.  I've got my journal for quick notes of inspiration throughout the day and I do hope that will translate to the blog once again soon, or some other format that may engage an audience. But when it does, I want it to be out of pure obedience, ordered by the One who knows me better than I know myself, who knows what I need and what this world needs more than I do, the profound Creator of the Universe, who loves me enough to order the details of my life.

I do believe it is possible to be an artist and create in an orderly fashion, honoring God and family. I am choosing to seek that direction, focused and purposefully.

How about you? Do struggle with being disciplined in writing or a certain hobby?

What tips have you acquired that have been helpful in juggling life with your writing ministry, hopes and dreams?

I'd love to know your thoughts on what works for you.

Sharing with Finding Heaven

14 comments:

  1. Oh yes, everything you wrote I have felt. I have prayed and prayed for direction and here's where the Lord has led me right now
    - I only blog during nap time or after bedtime
    - My blog is now scripture based instead of personal based
    - I have taken a 6 month break from checking blog stats
    - When I sit down during my set aside blog time I write what God most passionately puts on my heart at that moment - I've learned not every thought God reveals in my heart has to be shared on my blog.
    - Isaiah 55:10 is my scripture for my blog - I believe through reading this scripture if I write or share God's Word He will accomplish His purpose through it - whether I see the fruit or not.
    - I "promote" by blog only one day a week (Mondays) with Link ups, comments, Pinterest, ect.

    I know God will guide you in the right direction and James 1:5 will be a true verse in your journey. Blessings and fight for the work you're doing with the Lord! :)

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  2. God gave me a wonderful husband - and then He gave me 5 sons. He gave me this writing, too. Instead of buying and selling land like the Proverb 31 Woman, I write. He put the desire in me since I was 6 - I gave it to Him when I was 25. My boys are older,the youngest one 12. One of the hardest lessons for each of them is how to fill the moments where there is nothing to do, moments where the dreaded word "bored" threatens to spill over. Writing for Him provides holistic balance in my life - and is an example of my boys on how to fill those moments where there is nothing to do:)

    Wishing you blessing in your break!

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  3. Oh, Theresa, I SO GET that struggle,, and I love your honesty and the way you are following the Spirit's lead. And re-discovering the joy of being an artist. Because ou are one, of course- you paint beauty with your whole life, friend. Blessings to you!

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  4. I can really relate, my dear daughter. I have the advantage of my kids being grown and being semi-retired. Balancing priorities can be hard, but so important. I admire your maturity in doing so. While your time with the Lord and with your family comes first, you also have a precious gift for the rest of the world. The Lord in you and with you will work it out the time balance, and you will bear much fruit all around. When the time is right, I very much look forward to future "Heavenly Glimpses."

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  5. You know, I love writing, but at the same time it can be a beast and I just had the conversation with a friend about amibition turning to obsession. We write because we do have these words mushed up in our heads and it is art, but yes, the balance is killer.

    For me, balance means setting my clock at 4:30 am and staying up late. I try to not do any kind of writing when my kids are around except on weekends, but it's hard since I work.

    I don't know girl, still figuring how it all works myself, but I do know breaks are necessary, and when you tell yourself, "I couldn't possibly take a break" is when you need one most.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Amy.

      Thank you all for your feedback and encouragement!

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  6. I love every word you've said here...I have had so many doubts about blogging...I see it creep up and take tons of time away from my little boys (3 and 5). When I blog, it is usually in the mornings or during rest/nap time. I want to change my blogging too. I set out to write a real, honest blog to deal with the loneliness as well as what God was doing in my life during a profound/amazing/hard time that in some ways I am not entirely out of. So, I rarely write without it coming from God because it doesn't feel right. Blessings to you friend. You have my heart thinking and my ears listening. Thank you.

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  7. I love this pouring out of your heart, Theresa. You embody what SDG is all about.

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  8. I have been thinking about idols a lot lately and how we can take good things and turn them into god-things. I am having the same thoughts and doubts as you - my blog began as one thing, evolved into something bigger, and now it is a drain on me. Thank you for the encouragement to rethink how to and why I blog.

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  9. I think you listen to your inner spirit very well. Your priorities are straight and you have no fear being who you are and saying what you feel. That is a testament to your parents and you in turn are building this magnificent trait in your children. Trust in yourself and trust in the Lord. You speak volumes to people and its not always through written word but through observation to those that know you. You make us all realize that we are human and we don't always have to do it all, all the time.
    You'll know when you should blog. Until then keep being awesome.:)
    - Joleen

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  10. Hi Theresa,

    I understand that, and have fallen into blogging more like once a week instead of twice a week lately due to the same focuses on marriage, family, speaking, etc.

    Be blessed, friend. May the words flow to your Maker first, and any overflow as desired. :)

    Jennifer Dougan
    www.jenniferdougan.com

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  11. I've struggled, too. I want to focus more on the needs of those who are coming to my blog to read. I visited some blogs I'd never visited before, today: people who are connected through Google Friend Connect, and it was sobering to read some of their very real needs. It felt good to really pray for them. May God bless as you figure it out. I'll be praying for you, too.

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  12. You know when you stumble on a piece of real stuff, the dark chocolate goodness with no filler. Indulging right now.

    Thank you for your realness. Your encouragement. Your you, typed up for total strangers to read and walk away refreshed.

    Kind of stuck here, in all this good stuff.

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