When Your Not Expecting to be Expecting...Three Years Later

Madeline, you have brought our family immeasurable joy these past three years. God blew away our imaginations and expanded our hearts with His own when He brought you into our lives. Thank you for the gift you are to me, your dad, and to each of your siblings. We love you!

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{Three-and-a-half Years Ago...}

I'm usually quite diplomatic when anyone asks if we are having more children. I make a point to say, "We're just taking it one child at a time." This is true. However, we've always said among ourselves two, maybe three and NEVER foresaw four. Needless to say, we were utterly shocked when we found out we were having another baby just weeks ago.

Fear set in.

Can we responsibly parent another child? (YES) Can we afford another child? (Yes) Our lives, ideas, and expectations for our family will forever be changed. (Thank you, God!) Our lifestyle will change. (Yes. It has improved!) With each child, the opportunities we can offer our children decrease. (Not true…rather, with each child, there has been more opportunity for love and the sacrifice that builds true character.) We'll need a new car and eventually, house! (Okay…done) Will my body ever recover? You'll learn that your body was never meant to be immortal and that you'd give your life for this child anyway, so will my body recover? Who cares! Really.

Fear...all the thoughts that would keep any rational person from stepping beyond their conceived capacity for embracing the concept of welcoming another life.

I sat in church the day after I shared the news with my husband, both of us still in utter shock, and felt the familiar sensation I had with each of my other three children in early pregnancy. I felt hot from a building full of bodies. I felt light-headed and queasy after a few times of up and down in the pew. That familiar sensation, in no other place than church, gave me an overwhelming peace and excitement that there was a little life within me…a life that knew nothing of our circumstances and was ready to be welcomed and loved just like our other three blessings.

After about twenty-four hours, the shock wore off and excitement set in for both of us. In our heart of hearts, we knew that no lifestyle or privileged circumstance was more important than new life. In a nutshell, we would move heaven and earth, all of our comforts, our lifestyle, our ideas and expectations to welcome and love this child into our family.

God is so good! I have no doubt that what we don't even know yet is how much this child will bless our lives; our finances, our lifestyle, our spirits, our faith...our family.

We are more and more excited and tickled silly about baby number four every day!

Thank you, Father, that your plan, once again, trumps our own. Thank you that you, who has begun a good work in our life, will carry it on to completion (Jer 29:11). Thank you that your plans for us far out-weigh the plans we create for ourselves, for your plans are to prosper us, to give us hope and a future (Phil 1:6). Thank you that your will for our life is good, pleasing and perfect (Rom 12:3). Above all, thank you that your eyes saw this precious child's unformed body before conception and that all the days ordained for this child have already been written in your book even before one of them will come to be (Psalm 139:16). We praise you because this child growing within was fearfully and wonderfully made. We know full well your works are wonderful (Psalm 139:15).

In your almighty and blessed name, Amen.

Edited from the archives with questions and fears answered in blue.

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